THE SITUATION ROOM

If you have read my last two blog entries then you already know that I lost BOTH my dogs within one week of each other ( in other words…they DIED).

Since then I have been experiencing what is cleverly called SITUATIONAL DEPRESSION…I guess because my SITUATION has been REALLY depressing!


The question has been …. how do I get through the depression until I get used to my new situation…which is a house completely devoid of another living thing.

Being a woman my first reaction to my SITUATION (between crying jags) was to spend a lot of time in a deep relationship with Chocolate Chunk Cherry ice cream. This actually worked until I crashed into a hypoglycemic canyon….I have now eliminated sugar from my life (it makes me sad).

Then I went online (of course) and googled …trying to find suggestions that would magically make me feel better. I will share a few that appeared (and yes these really did appear):


Get outside and get some sun! The Vitamin D is good for you!..  (but at my age it makes me look like crushed leather)

Take a multivitamin (seriously…um…what I took was St. John’s Wort…trust me, it works)

Write a hand-written letter to someone (no…no…spent many years waiting for the technology that would free me from writing by hand)


Go for a long walk (this did not work as the walk thing is what I did with one of my dogs and all it did was make me sad)


Paint your toenails a funky color (except that would draw attention to my old feet which are funky enough)

Drink more water ..(why)


Make an effort to chat someone up in public  (This mostly consisted of telling random strangers that my dogs were dead…which I admit elicited sympathy but then they all wanted to tell me about their dead dogs and this made us all sad)


Buy a slinky and let it crawl down a set of stairs in public ( do NOT try this on an escalator……they get caught in a never ending cycle…..slinkies are now on the list of THINGS THAT MAKE ME SAD)

 Watch Sex in the City ( When I first saw this I thought it said WATCH SEX….which had its possibilities but then I would have had to add it to my COMCAST bill and…COMCAST already makes me sad …)


Read “O” magazine ( upon exploration I found that the first article was about how pets enhance lives….”O “now makes me sad)

Take a nap (this was pretty much how I had spent my days…when I wasn’t crying or eating ice cream..I guess I was only supposed to take A nap..not make it a lifestyle)


Start a postcard collection (and I would do this WHY?)

Smile at everyone you think is hot that walks by you (I live in Florida…EVERYONE is hot!..)


Instead of fussing over “extra pounds” use “ FAT IS WHERE IT’S AT as your mantra (this kind of supports my CHOCOLATE CHUNK CHERRY approach)


Write a poem (I did that…it was about my DEAD DOGS!)


Use a lotion with self tanner in it, or self tanner… the glow will make you feel better (it didn’t)

 Cut down on your caffeine intake (uh…caffeine was the only thing that kept me from the napping lifestyle…)


Buy a jump rope and burn calories while you have fun (have a foot neuroma….NOT going to happen)


Tell that guy being a jerk to go f@#k himself. (yes…could do that except the GUYS in my life who are jerks are all middle school adolescents and I am their teacher…bad form..and I NEED my job)

Every time you look in the mirror, tell yourself you’re a sexy bitch, even if people are around! (I am still trying to get a visual on this one)

Get a sexy shade of lip gloss (because everyone knows that lip gloss makes you forget….)


Watch Saturday morning cartoons (like Clifford, The Big Red DOG)

Keep a kit of daily necessities you can’t live without by your side at all times (like ice cream, Kleenex, and a pillow).


Join a social networking group (People Who Have Dead Dogs)

Spend time with children and elders ( I am a teacher and my mother lives in the community next door to mine…..enough said?)

Don’t spend time with negative people (I teach middle school…..)


Meditate (Why are my dogs dead…oommmmmmmm)

Take frequent “breathers” at work ( hello…I teach MIDDLE SCHOOL!! )


Invest in a down comforter (Florida…we do not understand down comforters)


Let bullshit roll off your shoulders (I actually put this one into practice)

So how, you ask, have I spent my days? It is all about distraction….

I found the game, ZUMA, to have a therapeutic effect. To play it one has to concentrate and when one is concentrating one is distracted…ZUMA…lots and lots of ZUMA.


And, speaking of distraction, I want to thank the creators of the following TV series… FALLING SKIES, MTV’S TEEN WOLF, and MEMPHIS BEAT. All just had their season finales…you got me through the month with three consecutive nights of weekly episodic anticipation.

I am a reader but if you look to the right at my reading list you will notice that THE COMING REVOLUTION is still in progress (sorry Walid…but trying to focus and teach myself about what the hell is going on in our world makes me sad).


ATLAS SHRUGGED is only half read…( Objectivism makes me sad.)


But, I HAVE completed 2 foo foo mysteries, 1 ghost story, and 1 young adult novel.. ….distraction.


And…now my awful summer has ended.  I have completed my first week back at work…remember…middle school teacher?   My duties have changed dramatically and have immersed me in distraction.  However, I did learn that, when my happy enthusiastic colleagues asked me how my summer was I should not have blurted out MY DOGS DIED!

Depression is a thief.  It steals all the fun out of life and leaves you trying to cope without the tools you need.  Humor is one of those tools, and it's more important than one might think.  I HAD a sense of humor until my SITUATION became DEPRESSING.  I am trying to recover it.   So I leave you with some jokes:

Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.


If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.


If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.


If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.


If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.


If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.


If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.


If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.


 I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline. They've got a call center in Pakistan. I told them I hated my life.... They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.




 I was walking along the beach when I kicked a bottle poking up through the sand. Opening it, I was astonished to see a cloud of smoke and a genie smiling at me.


"For your kindness," the genie said, "I will grant you one wish!" I paused, laughed, and replied, "I have always wanted a road from Hawaii to California."


The genie grimaced, thought for a few minutes and said, "Listen, I'm sorry, but I can't do that! Think of all the pilings needed to hold up the highway and how long they'd have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement. That's too much to ask."


"OK," I said, not wanting to be unreasonable. . Make me understand ME. What makes me laugh and cry, why am I temperamental, why am I so difficult to get along with, what do I really want? Basically, teach me to understand what makes ME tick!"


The genie paused, and then sighed, "Did you want two lanes or four?"

A SMALL LIFE...FOUND AND LOST

"It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try to readjust the way you thought of things….. this dark and curious feeling of falling that accompanies every great loss."
— Lemony Snicket (The Reptile Room..Book 2 in A Series of Unfortunate Events)


In August of 2000, while living in New Mexico, we lost our rat terrier, Ivan, to an immune deficiency disease. I missed him so much. Then, on December 22 of the same year, my, unbeknownst to me soon to be former husband, did, what proved to be, the last kind action in our marriage.


On his way to work he passed a very small rat terrier sitting just before the crossing on the bridge over the Rio Grande. The temperature was 18 degrees…there were no cars…nothing…just this very little dog.

He picked her up and returned with her to the house. She had no collar...no way to identify her.  We tried to find her owners but were unsuccessful. We thought she must have gotten out of an RV that had stopped to admire the view and her owners drove off…not realizing she was gone. She could not have been out very long. Aside from bad teeth, she had been well cared for, spayed, and liked people. She weighed 9 pounds.


I named her Zoey. It did not take us long to realize that Zoey was completely deaf. Not even the loudest sound secured her attention. Our vet said she appeared to be about 5 years old and that her deafness was congenital. This went a long way in explaining how she could have slipped out with nobody noticing.

She was almost completely silent. She never knew her name in words…we used a hand signal. I put a bell on her collar so I would know where she was. At first it was a turkey bell and then as she got older it was a large jingle bell. The bell was Zoey.

 She begrudgingly joined our dog pack which consisted of the ALPHA, Mandy (a black Irish setter/dachshund cross), and Brutus, the Pointer. Like all rat terriers Zoey wanted to be boss but Mandy would not allow it.

 Zoey proved to be tough as nails. She survived severe pancreatitis, and a rattlesnake bite. Being deaf she could not hear the warning rattle. She carried the triangle shaped scar on her shoulder for the rest of her life.

 Zoey was my shadow…she followed me everywhere….her bell announcing her presence.


Four months later my husband left and three years later I moved to Florida with my three dogs. For Zoey this meant that all bets were off…this was new territory and she set out to claim it. When Mandy passed away at the age of 18…Zoey proclaimed herself THE ALPHA…her minion was supposed to be Brutus.

See previous blog entry LOSING BRUTUS

She spent the last five years trying to make Brutus believe it. He never did. The only time she ever barked was at him…she knew whenever he entered the room and tried all she could think of to make him do what she dictated. She devoted enormous energy in thwarting his presence. Mostly he ignored her.

But still she followed me, bell jingling and every night slept under the covers in the crook of my leg…. this little warm body…sweet and comfortable. And the years passed….Zoey had some liver and kidney issues but all were under control…she just continued. She developed cataracts and became almost blind…but still followed me….scenting my path with astounding accuracy. Looking at her one would not realize that she was more than likely close to 17 years old.


Then, on Monday, July 11th, Brutus was gone….and from that day forward Zoey began to fade. I was wrong when I said that she would not miss him…she did. He was her energizer, her purpose for each day…and at some level…her pack.

 One week to the day of Brutus’s passing Zoey’s kidneys failed and she left this world in a lovely peaceful room at the animal emergency hospital…cuddled in a beach towel, in my lap… just before midnight, while it was still Monday, on the 18th of July.

I had to write this.  Zoey is my last dog. She was my shadow. She demonstrated courage and determination every day. She was a survivor and she was my special little friend.


What were the odds of finding a small pure bred rat terrier sitting on the Rio Grande bridge in the middle of NOWHERE New Mexico…what were the odds of her being found by a family who had just lost a beloved rat terrier?  Zoey was a gift…a gift for which I will always be grateful.

 I so miss the sound of her bell jingling through the house…always seeking me…always finding me….the “sound of silence”….the saddest sound in the universe….

LOSING BRUTUS

It is Wednesday Brutus, my dog…..just you and me…


You are home from the hospital having been there because your giant prostate flared up and bled and hurt….July 4th evening…I had to carry you into the building. So here you are…full of medication and feeling better. The vet told me that this would happen again and again.


I made the decision and called the mobile vet. Soon, the burden of your illness will be lifted from you. They are booked until Monday so I have to go through the next 5 days ticking them down. You don’t know this…but I do. Your life will end on Monday morning… at home...no fear… no scary vet smell…… I promise.

 It is so very hard to let you go, especially when you ate all your dinner with enthusiasm tonight and you wagged your tail and perked up your ears. I waver…yet know in my heart that all can change very quickly and the only progress to be made is toward more illness.

And now it is Thursday…You slept beside me early this morning and rolled on your back to have a tummy rub. You were even excited about your breakfast and ate over half of it. I took you on your walks and you still pointed at rabbits and sometimes at suspicious fallen palm fronds. This evening you ate all your dinner, rolled around for me to play a little and curled up with me on the couch.


I am remembering the beautiful black and white puppy … carsick during the long ride to his new home.

 Friday now ending... Long day… Lots of walks. You ate all your meals. I put your meds in cookie dough …you REALLY like that. .


I have missed your tail. Since you have had the prostate issue your tail is always down now. Pointers should NEVER have down tails.

Gramma was here. She is so sad. She loves you. She was always glad to come and let you out at noon and give you a biscuit…You have made her life brighter Brutus.
How will I tell the neighbors who sneak you biscuits and greet you every morning? They are in Germany now.
You are a most lovable dog.


Saturday…..You had eggs, cottage cheese, and canned dog food for breakfast. You cleaned the bowl. I watched you eat…standing there in your diaper pants (because you leak).

I have thought of someone who will not miss you…yes…Zoey. You have been her nemesis from the beginning. She wanted to be the boss of you and all you ever did was ignore her. She HATES that. She is very old now…older than you. I think it will not be long before she follows your path…no escape for either of you.


The pet store took back the special crate I had just got you and said they would take your diaper pants to give to rescue dogs. I donated your new bag of Weight Management dog food to the Domestic Animal Shelter. I will call the vet and see if there is someone who can use your leftover meds. I went to the grocery store and bought you yummy things.


Sunday…last full day….my heart is breaking. Long, long day….


Monday…there was a bad storm. I guess it was too much to ask that you be spared thunder on your last night…..We took a long walk this morning….and then I told you, like I always do, “Let’s go home”…and you turned, like you always do, right into the cul de sac and walked up to the pink front door…home.

You slept next to me for a long time on the couch…dreaming dog dreams and running in your sleep. And when you woke up I gave you a big chunk of cookie dough.


They came at 10:30 am. And … it was full circle….the vet who took care of you in the emergency hospital was the one who walked through my door. He said he was glad he could do this for Brutus.

He put his hand on your head and said a silent prayer. My fingers still tasted like cookie dough. You were in my lap on the couch licking them as the drugs took effect. You licked and licked so gently until you just stopped.

Your ashes will be tucked in beside Mandy in the back yard under the caladiums.


You have brought me such comfort during the bad times in my life, and every day you added joy….. it is hard to bear your loss. I parted from you with the knowledge that you have had a happy life with me… except when it thundered.


But it was right to say good-by now, before you became too sick and before this last of moments was spent with the vet and the clinic smell and the fear. I loved you enough to send you “gently into that good night”.


It is said that all dogs go to heaven. If that is true then you will go where all squirrels and rabbits run fast but not so fast that you can’t catch them….and it will be snack time whenever you desire and it will never…. EVER… thunder.


No matter where I am, Brutus, I will feel the breeze of your spirit wagging that pointer tail.
 As you cross the bridge between this world and the next, just follow your nose and look up…Mandy is there…up on the hill.

 Mandy, who preceded you in this journey…the Alpha of our family pack. She knows where the birds are…you are still her bud and she has waited for you. When you see her I want you to stop….hold a perfect point… fill your heart…. raise your tail like a flag……. and run…

BRUTUS....  Best Beloved



GOING, GOING, GALT!

As many of my friends and family know, I am rereading Ayn Rand’s ATLAS SHRUGGED.

I was maybe 18 when I first read it and although it stayed with me, the reality is I WAS A CHILD and had NO CLUE!
As I read it now, from the vantage point of age and experience, I find myself looking up from the pages and seeing this novel played out before my eyes every day and night on the news.

 In the novel Rand has the movers, inventors, artists, and producers (Atlas) of American society simply strike and disappear. They remove themselves from the world. Today they don't go on strike; they just leave for other states and, eventually, other countries.

In America, right now, Atlas is shrugging.. He is going to places that WANT him, his skills, his jobs, and his money.


Right now companies, jobs, and people are leaving highly taxed and regulation punishing states like California and Illinois and relocating to states like Texas and Florida that have no income tax and fewer state regulations.


But for many, our federal policies drive them even further…they cannot stay here and thrive so…they leave the US all together.

This has been going on for a long time and it is now accelerating. Atlas is fleeing because of intrusive and economy killing government policies.


Atlas leaves in bits…he begins first by outsourcing, then the entire manufacturing process goes, and last is Atlas himself… the inventors and entrepreneurs .

 These people go, as all people do, to where there is OPPORTUNITY. The globe is a different place than it was when Ayn Rand was writing. Many countries are tax friendly and their standards of living have entered the modern world. They offer dual citizenship.


And…I found this shocking…Americans renouncing their citizenship is higher than it has ever been! If our policies do not change we will lose….and it will play out within the next 20 years.

We USED to be the country that drew talented, motivated people to us. They are now departing for places that do not punish individuals that produce. Places that want and reward business owners and risk takers. These countries are vigorously pursuing American companies and investment.




Australia, New Zealand, Hong Kong, Monte Carlo, Belize, Costa Rica, Singapore, Panama, Bahamas, and Cayman are just a few examples of those offering low taxes and a business friendly environment.


My grandfather started, in Illinois, a successful metal manufacturing plant in the 40’s that has remained in my family for 3 generations…. a plant that is now being crushed by the state’s toxic policies and bankrupted economy. My brother, who now runs the company, has stated that, if he could, he would leave Illinois for another state. Our grandfather understood an economic America where wealth was comprised of big physical assets that could not be moved easily. The government could effortlessly, and still does in Illinois, bind you with heavy taxation and burdensome regulations.

Today, however, more and more wealth and assets are mobile. They can easily be sent elsewhere. Those physical assets are not so physical anymore….they are intellectual and electronic.

And when Atlas finds too many obstacles in the way of production Atlas can leave.

Today’s technology and transportation have given enormous freedom to those business people who wish to access it….their businesses are where THEY are and THEY can be anywhere on Earth.
The high tech revolution has freed businessmen to run their companies from anywhere in the world.


Present day producers do not have to punish themselves by dropping out of the SYSTEM as they did in Rand’s story. They just drop into another, more welcoming system…. while leaving this economy more and more adrift.


Big government and the CLASS OF DEPENDENCY get in the way and like a parasite, drain the host country. If this goes on long enough…. the host dies.

As the producers, inventors, and risk takers leave, the society becomes more and more injured. Everything declines… wealth, jobs, and living standards. The citizenry becomes poorer. Government, to the detriment, spends and prints more money, and ineffectually tries to do what it CANNOT DO.


It CANNOT create jobs or wealth. It CANNOT make everyone equal materially or intellectually. The more it intrudes into the private sectors of society the worse matters become.




It makes no difference what our currant administration says, there is not one thing government can do to turn around this process of continual decline except to reverse its policies.


We must restore those conditions which make it attractive for Atlas to return. We must drastically reduce our spending and the thousands of strangling regulations that prevent production. We now have the highest corporate tax in the world…Why would ANYBODY want to start a business here?


It has taken us 100 years to get to this stagnant point…to reverse it will also take time. We must do it in the same way that it has been done to us…… incrementally. Our talented creators and the capital that the current toxic policies have driven away will not come back when other societies provide more favorable climates for entrepreneurs than we do. They must trust that the change is real.

Power does not relinquish itself. A bloated STATIST government, with injurious regulations and taxation, make escape impossible. That is its goal.

But… entrepreneurs are now free to vote with their feet and wallets. Thankfully they pose a threat to just how many of these bad policies any government can impose and still continue.




Who is John Galt? He is Atlas leading an organized "strike" against those who use the force of government law and moral guilt to confiscate the accomplishments of the productive menbers of society. He “Shuts down the motor of the world”.

U.S. politicians may tear their hair about THE RICH, but the real enemies of America are those who come to power by demonizing the successful while producing nothing useful themselves.


Rand calls them the “Looters”..they are proponents of high taxation, big labor, government ownership, government spending, government planning, regulation, and redistribution.

Rand also identifies the "Moochers" ….those who demand others' earnings on behalf of the needy or those unable to earn for themselves. Yet they berate the producers who make that help possible and seem to resent the talented on whom they depend. They destroy the productive through guilt, and by appealing to "moral right" while enabling the "lawful" looting performed by governments.


As I stated at the start of this entry, I am reading Atlas Shrugged while seeing its story played out in real time before my eyes.


In the novel many companies and businesses are moving to Colorado because it is a state that has “hardly any government” They leave to escape the onerous government regulations found in other states. Of course Colorado is deemed REGRESSIVE because of this.


And in response to their leaving, the federal government issues a decree forbidding companies from relocating.

I look at the news and see that the National Labor Relations Board filed a complaint demanding that Boeing locate its assembly line for the 787 Dreamliner in Puget Sound instead of Charleston, South Carolina—on the grounds that Boeing should not be allowed to escape to a "right to work" state.


As I continue reading Atlas Shrugged an innovative oilman invents a revolutionary process to extract oil from shale, but even though the country is desperate for energy, he is shut down by government regulations.

I look up from the page and the news is talking about a process called hydraulic fracturing— "fracking" for short—This makes it possible to extract large quantities of natural gas from shale formations across the country. It could revolutionize domestic energy production. But, again the media and the government are calling for a moratorium on fracking.

Atlas Shrugged…. where productive companies are bled dry to provide bailouts for failing companies which produce "unreliable goods at unpredictable times."


And here is General Motors and Chrysler who were bailed out with $80 billion dollars of our tax money so that nine of their cars made the Forbes list of the eleven "Worst Cars on the Road." The nine are:

Cadillac  Escalade                                                      
Chevrolet Tahoe Hybrid

Dodge Nitro                                     
Jeep Wrangler
Dodge Dakota
Chrysler Town and Country
Chevrolet Colorado
Chevrolet Aveo
Jeep Liberty




In Atlas Shrugged, the advocates of uncontrolled government keep spending money faster than they can take it by heavily taxing a shrinking number of producers. The title of one of the chapters is "Account Overdrawn."

In our world, S&P has downgraded the long-term outlook for US government debt, a first step to downgrading the nation's credit rating.


Throughout the novel characters are commenting on their inability to get things repaired, the abandonment of buildings, and the general lack of normal commerce.

 

And online I see an entire photo journal dramatically displaying the currant disintegration of Detroit, Michigan….a city that was once a jewel in this country’s crown.

And finally…in Atlas Shrugged, men of talent and initiative are disappearing and withdrawing from the economy because they refuse to accept punishment for their hard work and ambition.

In April of 2011 well known ad man and entrepreneur Jerry Della Femina announced that he had sold his famous restaurant and was withdrawing his money from all of his other businesses and investments because.....

"I'm just not ready to have my wealth redistributed. I'm not ready to pay more tax money than the next guy because I provide jobs and because I work a 60-hour week and I earn more than $250,000 a year."

But what was even more interesting was Mr. Della Femina’s answer when asked why he was doing this….…
 "Read a brilliant book by Ayn Rand called Atlas Shrugged, and you'll know."